What Women Need to Feel Safe in a Relationship

As women, we all have this root desire in a relationship to feel protected. I think that is why a lot of women date a bad boy. The bad boy has a sense of direction. He's persistent. He pursues her. Even though the relationship may not be great for her, the root of it actually is. She wants to feel protected, provided for, taking care of, adored, and cherished. I want to give you this little example that I my clients in that it has worked for me of.

Imagine you're out in the ocean and on a ship with your partner. Maybe there's a bad storm happening, and your guy says, “Honey, I'm going to take care of us. I'm going to steer our ship and by morning, we will be at land. You can trust me. I've got this.” Our natural reaction to that is to say, “No, I'm going to help you,” or “No, I I'm going to direct you.” A man really desires a woman who will trust him and respect his and an honor and trust in his choices.

If you are not trusting your man's choices, if you're annoyed at his choices, or don't trust that he's going to get stuff done, you can't lean back, right? You're going to be wanting to control him and his actions, to make sure he's on top of things, and mother him, in a sense. As women, we spend all a lot of our time mothering. We don't know how to turn that off. We're constantly leading with our masculine energy of wanting to take over. Wanting to take control, because the root of it is you’re not trusting that other person will follow through or come through for you.

We might not trust our partners decisions and their decision-making skills. We might feel in order be loved and have a sense of self-worth that we have to earn it and work hard. A lot of us women are in their masculine energy, but in an unhealthier way. It's not helping our relationships at all.

Going back to your ship, do you trust? Are you able to go in the lower cabin with the babies or by yourself and fall asleep for the night?

If you have someone in your life where you don't feel safe or you don't feel protected, you're not going to open. In a relationship that has masculine and feminine polarity, a woman needs to feel safe. She needs to trust in herself and her choices and honor that and honor her boundaries. She can be open and express to be wild and carefree. We want a man to hold our energy, so we feel safe and express ourself.

That's where our feminine, divine essence power comes from – within. We need to be careful in choosing someone that we really, really trust and that we can lean into their arms and know we are safe.

When we lean back and let him lead, we in turn get to get our power back. This is because we're not mothering him. We're not telling him what to do. We're not in the control. We can let go because we know he's got our back and that's the most powerful feeling for a woman - to feel loved, adored, cherished, protected, seen, and heard.

And I know that that is on your heart, and I believe if something is on your heart, that it has meant for you. And you deserve it. I believe in you keep shining.

Angela

You can listen to the entire podcast on what women need to feel safe in a relationship here: